Before You Say “I Do” – The Power of Your Singlehood

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photo credit: Deepatheawesome via photopin cc

Your singlehood is so powerful.

And I really, really hope you don’t waste it. I really hope I don’t waste it either.

Which is why I am creating this blog: “My Catholic Single Life.”

I have been in a relationship with the most patient and caring young Catholic man for almost FIVE years now, dating for almost two (we will go over the difference later), and as a rising senior in college sometimes (okay, often) I feel like what I am doing now is all a bunch of filler, waiting for real life to begin as a beautiful married bride. Isn’t that what we tend to say? “When I get out into the real world I will…” “When I graduate I will…” My Pinterest is already full of bridal decoration ideas, home furnishings, and creative crafts to do with my one hundred kids. I am just itching for the day I get the go-ahead to go white dress shopping.

But my sisters roll their eyes because they know that even though Andrew and I are planning to be married, we both have a full year of college left and an estimated two years until we can hear wedding chimes. So I feel like I am twiddling my thumbs earning a Social Work degree that I don’t plan on using for much more than a few years. Just checking a box. Filling time while I wait.

Does this sound familiar to you?

I want to tell you something. I don’t think God meant for me to be just filling time right now. And Heaven forbid I die and see Jesus and He tells me, “Gosh, Grace, those were meant to be the most important formative years of your life. So much depended on them. Why did you spend them twiddling your thumbs?”

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t consider myself a lazy person. More of an over-achiever, actually. But I just think that my singlehood could get a little more credit. If you can imagine God telling you in advance that the next two years of your life were actually incredibly important, maybe containing some of the most important moments and days and months of your life on earth, what would you do differently? Wouldn’t you put some thought into what God meant in terms of using this time to prepare your heart for that wonderful spouse you long for so much? And aside from preparing for your spouse, wouldn’t you think He looks at you as just YOU and wants you to realize the standalone importance of your single life?

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photo credit: ArmchairBuilder.com via photopin cc

This is your foundation. Like the foundation of a house. (You may hear me talk more about foundations.) I am not convinced that God meant for this time in our lives to be all about waiting for the next part of our lives to come. I can’t tell you what God wants for your singlehood. I don’t even know what He wants for mine yet. But I will tell you that I do think singlehood can be an extremely powerful time in our lives if we open ourselves to asking God how to make it so.

I will still be pinning lovely wedding theme ideas and dreaming of the days of cloth diapers and mini-vans. Maybe your dreams are somewhat different. I’m sure you’ll still be dreaming those dreams too. But whether you are in a relationship, dating, engaged, or as single as it comes, I challenge you to subscribe and journey with me as I explore what it means to live a more powerful and meaningful Catholic single life.

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2 responses to “Before You Say “I Do” – The Power of Your Singlehood

  1. Hey Grace,

    I really like the idea for this blog! As a society we can get very caught up in just “waiting for the next big thing.” Jesus came so that we might have life in abundance, but that does not mean “when I get married,” or “when the next big stage of my life comes.” God is present right now in all of us, dwelling in our hearts, yearning to fill whatever space we will give Him. It is important to remember that God is here in the present moment, not somewhere in the future. He takes up His abode in us now and He wants us to be present to Him now. Let us never forget that the One who holds the universe in His hands is living within us right now.

  2. You have some good thoughts here – it’s true that you should take advantage of each phase of your life and not put off personal growth for “when I finish.” But to give you something else to think about, I am graduating from Notre Dame with a Chemical Engineering degree this weekend, and I am already married and pregnant! When I talked with my boyfriend/fiance/husband, who is a grad student, about when we should get married, we decided that there was no real reason we had to wait until graduation. Our society propagates this myth that you have to have it all together before you get married, but it’s just not true. We are going to figure our lives out together, and have each other for help. We are living our permanent, God-given vocation, with sacramental graces, now. It’s not as far-fetched as it might seem to get married in school, especially if you can get your parents to agree with you and support you. Sharing a house off-campus is much cheaper than my dorm room and meal plan. You definitely won’t qualify for less financial aid when you consider your spouse’s income instead of your parents’. I’m not as involved in campus life, but I certainly don’t miss it. I understand that this wouldn’t work for everyone, but I bet that a lot of people who “have” to wait until 25 for marriage could really just go ahead and get married, if they really wanted to.

    It’s a different answer to not putting your life on hold, and so far, it is working well for me. (My GPA was highest in the last three semesters, by the way, when we got engaged, got married, and were pregnant right before/after finals of those semesters.) And I’m going to be a full-time mother on his graduate student stipend. I would highly recommend that everyone in this situation carefully consider why you are waiting for marriage, and whether you really have to.

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